Unlock 4.0 

Why, Corona locks are old now. We now have Unlock 4.0 announced by GOI. Let us look at the aspects

1. Pubs, bars will operate at 50% capacity - Its now happy hours for the beleaguered owners
2. Pub owners will have to drink up first till they start seeing double and hence the 50% capacity utilization will look to them as the pub being full
3. Metro services to start. Metros will keep social distancing themselves. There won't be many plying close together. Thus if you miss one, you may want to socialize with the person next so that you can have a fun time till another comes
4. Schools are still closed. Anyway where the learned Govt. thinks that opening pubs and bars is more priority than opening schools, our future generation shall be distant from any values education may provide
5. School children cannot go to pubs as the schools are closed. So that is an unintentional good outcome
6. Marriages can happen with 50 guests. Finding out which one to invite and who to leave out will be a bigger worry for the parents of the groom and bride.
7. Union of two souls via marriage is likely to break many relationships as people will feel miffed at not being invited to gossip during the marriage (See point 6)
8. Lobbying likely to happen to be in the 50 invited guests from relatives of the bride and groom. This will give them bragging rights to say that they had been to So and So's wedding even during lockdown. Something akin to landing on the moon.
9. 9th to 12th standard students can come to school to clear their doubts. I sincerely hope they don't get enlightened by the clarity their teachers give and run off to the nearest pub to celebrate
10. Meanwhile swimming pool owners have converted their facilities to car washes. So that they need not drown in the sorrow. One consolation is they have the pubs open

Corona

Corona Woes

As if life was not hard, there are new woes due to the Corona:

1. I miss driving in maddening Bangalore traffic as I am desk bound at home. Now I need to revise my swear words again.
2. There are no co passengers to chat with. Missing the friends in Quick ride. Try chatting up with Wife and you get into arguments. Gawd!
3. No eyeing the PYTs in the office. The PYT next door is also inside the home working 
4. No chaat to eat now. Unless you prepare it yourself. 
5. Life is all about guessing which team member really has a powercut while he / she thinks of a new way to skip work
6. Work from home is also Work for home. Woe betide the people who thought IT guys do not do work hard like the folks in a brick and mortar company. The moment I step out to buy stuff is where my Manager misses me dearly in the company messenger
7. Tea time / water cooler grapevine talks are sorely missed. Now it is only gripe talks around the house
8. Power cuts mean forever you are asking "Am I audible"? I am not sure if the microphone in my laptop is playing up or team mates exacting revenge
9. Extra eating to control anxiety means new wardrobe soon. More trouble trying to shed the extra weight around tummy
10. Above all the zillions in India who don't understand Social distancing. Gawd! when are you going to distance this virus from all around me?