Recently read in Tabloid of India (TOI) that chinese hackers have got access to defense secrets by hacking into many Govenrment web sites. Now, when such an event occurs, I am sure there will be a cabinet meeting to discuss things.
So one day there was a cabinet meeting. All heavy-weights of the cabinet arrive.
PM - "Distinguished colleagues, We are here to discuss a very important issue of Chinese hackers doing damage to our beloved nation. Mr. Defense Minister will answer your questions now"
DM - Ayyo!!, I don't know anything ji. Today morning when I was dringing kaapi, my assistant Mr. Kunju kurup told me that he read in Tabloid of India about this. Anyway I have asked the chief of staff to investigate.
Meanwhile, Shashi is busy tweeting. "There goes the secret location where my assets are hidden. I had copied all my ill-gotten wealth's secrets in DM's computer thinking that it won't be found out. Eeyal chadichallo, ende kartaave"
Sharad - Thinking to himself. Good that I told the joker Modi chap not to include Hongkong and chinese ICC players in eyepeeyell. It would have been a national embarassment to me in Beware of cricket control in India (BCCI)
DM - We are investigating the issue. Last night also our team was seeing which files have been compromised. I found some strange looking file called "Ende Jeevan.xls" in my PC, it was a password protected spreadsheet. Does it belong to any of you??"
PC - "What?? you said PC?? I am the home minister at office and report to a home minister at home. How can you say that the file is mine??"
PM - Does anyone have any suggestion about this issue??
DM - "Sir, I don't think much has been compromised. The fact that we are building airstrips near Tibet has been released by Tabloid of India already"
PM - No not that. But there were some other secrets I guess. How much of the file contents they already know about is what I am wondering??
Shashi brightens up.
PM ji, why not invite the Chinese for a game of "Raaz, Defense ministry ka"?? I am sure we can hypnotize them and find out
PM - Yes, but then who will sponsor such a show??
Sharad - Sir ji, Don't worry about sponsors, we can manage even Pakistan Airlines or Habib bank. They might be having a lot of interest in this issue too. Anyway Sponsor King Modi is in our side
Shashi - I guess it better be eyepeeyell Modi. Narendra has already got AB and the Big B is in lot of trouble since then
Sharad - Thinking to himself. "Wait till you Tweet something stupid again. Let me see who will sponsor your cause to continue in the cabinet."
DM - I have a suggestion Sir. Let us henceforth convert all documents in to Malayalam and then store in computers. Even if they are hacked I am sure the Chinese won't understand."
Entire team - "Bravo! Bravo!
PM - "Now I know the worth of a kaapi drinker in my team."
Shashi - "But sir, even I am one"
PM - "But then you tweet all about it and destroy the fun no?"
PM - "Please call Nandan to my office. I guess his former company has lot of Mallu Software Engineers. They must be able to give us a quick turn around time with the documents we have. Meeting adjourned"
Disclaimer - "All events above described might be partially false. No reference whatsoever to any person living, dead or comatose is intended. If you take offence then you don't have a sense of humour or are dazed by eyepeeyell watching for the last three weeks".
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